A life lesson from Dr. Peter Kreeft
Dr. Peter Kreeft is a philosophy professor at Boston College and prolific author of more than one hundred books. His wife of 63 years, Maria, died six weeks ago. He said something shocking in a interview with podcaster Matt Fradd, which you can watch above.
He was asked what advice he’d offer to someone considering marriage. Here’s the transcript:
“Do you think that when you’re very old, and your wife is very old … and ugly … and wrinkled … and fat … and not very bright … or even nasty, that you will still find her beautiful? If so, marry her. The last view I had of my wife in the nursing home, about an hour after she died … I fell in love with her again. Here is a wasted, emaciated, wrinkled, suffering body … It’s as beautiful as a crucifix. The body ain’t going to last, but the soul is. So, if you don’t love her soul, but just love her body, don’t get married.”
That’s a pretty startling statement to those without religion in their life.
Dr. Kreeft is saying that love is a choice. It’s a decision to “will the good of the other,” to use Aquinas’ words, in good times and in bad. Bad times are a guarantee at some point in life, but love makes them better, even in death. Christ promises the repentant sinner that he will be with Him in paradise when his earthly body dies. (Luke 23:43).
What a comfort for those who lose a loved one. A happy ending awaits each of us who follow Him.
Kreeft’s advice applies to the unborn, who are complete human beings with human souls at the instant of conception.
They are the same person at fertilization as they are at the moment of their death at age of eighty-five, as was Maria Kreeft at her passing. The only thing different: life experience.
The unborn haven’t reached their cute stage yet when sperm and egg unite to create a zygote, which is the earliest stage of human development. But the cuteness begins to build with each passing week, until that time when their bodies pass from the womb to the arms of their waiting mom and dad, who can now fully revel in their cuteness. But the worth of a person doesn’t depend on ‘cuteness’ or physical beauty. Our worth is intrinsic as the only living creatures on earth made in God’s image.
Fall in love with the soul
So to paraphrase the question asked at the outset of this essay, “what advice would you offer to someone considering engaging in sexual relations with a member of the opposite sex,” Kreeft’s advice might go something like this:
“Do you think when your child poops her diapers … and spits up all over your shoulder and cries at night when she has a bad dream, and knocks over the pretty vase on your coffee table … and puts a dent in the fender of your car when she starts to drive … and acts like a snot when you give her a curfew for her senior prom … do you think you can still love her soul? If the answer is no, don’t engage in sexual relations that can produce a child.”
Abortion denies a human being with a human soul life experiences that will change the world. The journey can be bumpy, as the previous paragraph points out. But why deny yourself and your daughter the joy of the good times in the adventure of life?
Kreeft’s advice distilled to its essence is simply this: fall in love with the soul.
