There was a time in my life when I was alone and depressed. Alcohol and drugs ruled my world. I was in a relationship full of domestic abuse, both mentally and physically. I finally ran away from him, staying where ever I could. Homeless, depressed, alone, and fully addicted to drugs, I found out I was pregnant.
Everyone I turned to for help said abortion was the only answer so I had the abortion. Everything they told me was a lie. First, a nurse told me that I was healthy because my hemoglobin count was high. That was a lie. I weighed less than 100 pounds, I was drunk and under the influence of other drugs.
Secondly, they told me I’d only feel a slight discomfort. That was a lie. Instead, it felt as if my insides were being ripped apart. I was screaming, crying, and thrashing. Nurses had to hold me down. I remember blood splattering and having to be wiped up.
Everyone said that abortion was the answer to my problems. That was a lie. That abortion totally killed what spirit I did have left. I never felt more worthless after leaving that abortion clinic.
From there, I self medicated with more drugs, more alcohol, more men. Anything to fill the void of what I had done. Once again, I wound up pregnant. The man I was with demanded an abortion. I had a second abortion. After that, I really can not describe how I felt. Hollow. Lost. Alone. Empty. I tried to find my way through many things. Nothing helped. People say abortion providers care about women. That is a lie. I called the abortion office for aftercare, and they treated me like I wasn’t a person. Telling me they couldn’t help me any longer. I wondered where I could go? I was too ashamed to tell anyone about the abortion.
My healing finally began when I was introduced to the saving grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. Praise God! I am forgiven! I am forgiven!